Having just completed our first year, I was reflecting on the numerous things that I had experienced, learned, and seen God do. Along with this reflection came the news of the passing of one of our church family's oldest living member, Mr. Carney. Mr. Carney was 96 years old and had served faithfully as a deacon but for a number of years was unable to attend church services due to health and age. I "officiated" his funeral Wednesday, August 28, and was honored to do so. His was my fourth funeral, and I keep a folder in which the details of each I've been a part of is available to review.
Funerals have taught me more about people than anything else in the past year. I wouldn't say I've learned or seen much I didn't already know about grieving families or death, but I have observed the troubling "business as usual" handling of death and the accompanying services.
It is important for me as a pastor and for the funeral home staff to be professional, I get that. There is, however, the element of genuine care and concern that is discernibly missing in some individuals, be they pastor or funeral home staff.
One staff member recounted a pastor that he had worked with, of whom he could predict exactly how many minutes the service would be, what his message would be, and noted that the pastor even thought it funny about how quickly and efficiently he was able to "do his thing."
On one occasion, I asked a staff member how long he had worked in at a particular funeral home, and he proceeded to give me a monologue of not only how long but all the reasons why he was sick of it.
I write this for one purpose, to bring to our attention the need for the Holy Spirit and the Holy Word to break our calloused, "business as usual" hearts and give us hearts the hurt and grieve alongside the hurting and grieving. Whether or not we know the folks involved, we ought to hurt and grieve at the simple, fundamental understanding that death and corruption entered God's created universe upon the arrival of sin (Romans 5:12).
In other words, the entire reason we are "officiating" (I despise the word) is because of sin and the consequences of it. While we direct people to fondly remember the memories at one's passing, we ought also bring to their attention the entire reason for the event. Death was never supposed to be a part of living, and was never a part of God's plan for mankind. Let's not callously treat it like normal business.
